Despair

A social order that has prevailed for many centuries cannot be fixed overnight. But what troubles me is the fact that even my lifetime cannot possibly be enough. I would like to correct it, but I can only work towards the goal and hope for the best. In the meantime, I would like to earn a nice sum of money but retain only what is the bare minimum amount and give the rest away to those who really need it. But I know that it won't be so easy for me to part with what I've earned, especially knowing what all that very money can get me.

Luxury. I might choose not to travel by air and instead make use of the much more commonplace sleeper class of trains, refuse to step into and buy anything from malls and showrooms, eat out at overpriced junk food chains and coffee shops and trendy fine dines, quit smoking and drinking by convincing myself of them being extravagances and not splurge on branded clothing and gadgets that I can do without. But these are only choices that I make, knowing very well that I can always revert my stance and choose to indulge.

It's thoughts like these that drive me to . And thence to sitting all alone in a fancy restaurant hogging a plate of gosht biryani, combined with a large whisky on the rocks, followed by the putrid smell of my smouldering alveoli.