Inretrospection

This post is inspired by (read: is a long-overdue post which has finally manifested as a quick reaction to) this post on Loony Pages by this blogger called Loony Girl.

I guess when you're young and living in the big city, it's hard not to tread down the typical path. I've experienced it first hand, so I cannot claim to be a preacher all of a sudden and expect a herd to follow me.

Back in my early college days, life was about things that spilled over from school days (innocence and sanity was maintained till the end of 12th courtesy staying with my parents) - so it was mostly alternative rock and Linkin Park, and though my days of watching WWF were far behind me, there persisted a strange affinity for the word life of John Cena. Also, the urge to wear nothing but branded stuff also set in.

Of course, that changed pretty soon and within months, I was into the next phase of my life, full of GnR, then Nirvana followed by Metallica - to use a cliche, life had begun to rock, and it wasn't just the music, but also the clothes, the shoes and the accessories; the luxury to roam around and take full advantage of living in a hostel. Simultaneously, the debauchery also kicked in, as did a more worrying version of disenchantment that threatened to put an end to academics.

Things came to a head soon after - within months of moving out, and after staying alone for a couple of months, there was a roommate, and trouble started to brew under the calm surface. The need to be accepted amongst peers (my roomie was majorly responsible for making me "realize this need") outweighed responsible thinking, and before I knew it, I was poorer by tens of thousands of rupees spent on daily booze binges during which I ended up sponsoring a whole bunch of people on an almost everyday basis - and what's more, these people also happened to stay at my place without sharing the rent. It is thanks to them, in obvious addition to me, that I ended up getting my first year drop due to attendance issues.

And that sent me further down the slippery slope - I ended up as a writer for a youth magazine, which is awesome since I got my first bout of exposure and experience. But the havoc it wreaked on my lifestyle - cigarettes were no longer only social and neither was the alcohol (though the quantities of the latter did reduce), and yet they were very much a part of my increasingly social life; a social circle that involved people my age for whom money had no value and whose lives revolved around the 3 Gs - gigs, girls and ganja.

Since then, I've had another year drop due to attendance (again, I wasn't thinking straight), some failed relationships (which I had no business being a part of in the first place), couple more stints as a writer with youth brands (the experience, I maintain, helps) and a mostly constant set of thoughts and exchanges - "Haven't smoked up in a while now", "We should sit down for a couple of drinks sometime", "Dude, I need a smoke", etc. - you get the drift, since you've lived this life yourself. Sometime in between, the "coolness" of watching cult movies and world cinema was discovered - although I must admit that I liked what I saw, the thing started only because I fell for this fad (in addition to all the others ones over the years - a discovery which, for the record, does not make me desist from listening to rock).

So when I say that something tripped inside me about a year back and made me rethink my life and opt mostly for the kind back when I was in Delhi, I'm not giving a sermon and expecting that everyone should suddenly realize and appreciate that the world around them goes way beyond their immediate peers and their plush, urban surroundings; that there's much more to life other than sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. I'm not saying that we should acknowledge reality and work for the greater good rather than just be aware of certain generic facts and be blissful in our own youthful, upper-middle class, urban shells, just because I've started doing so.

But there comes a time, sooner or later, when you'll be faced with such thoughts. They may persist; they may just be fleeting glimpses. In my case, just the fact that the same set of thoughts have been able to bother me for more than a fortnight pleases me. I can't speak for any of you though, especially not for the person whose post this is inspired by. And it also doesn't mean that you change your lifestyle - it's a personal choice really. And I've made mine.